Posts Tagged With: Money

What is a mom worth?

What is a wife and stay at home mom worth? That’s the question that has been raised in a couple of venues I have been in recently. Now, I am not talking about the love aspect, because love is priceless. I can’t and won’t put a price on my love for my wife, that just IS.

My beautiful wife and I both worked when we were first wed a couple of months ago, but due to totally opposite and conflicting schedules, money that wasn’t worth the time, and just her physical well being, we decided it would be best for the family if she stayed at home. So now she is a stay at home mom and housewife and I absolutely love it. Money is tight, but the girls have their mom all day, which I believe is important. She isn’t taxing her body like she was before, which always worried the hell out of me. Also, she doesn’t have to stress and worry about her safety being a waitress working a graveyard shift.

To me, this is all priceless.

Lately she has shown some concern over money as things are tight, to which I have this to say: Babe, you are contributing more than you think. I don’t worry about things like I used to, we will get through the tight finances and debt and we will be okay. Don’t worry about not bringing home a paycheck. You do things that are just as important, if not more so, on a daily basis. I love you.

This article says these things in a much better way than I can, so I will share it for your reading pleasure: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting-roles/value-of-stay-at-home-moms/the-value-of-stay-at-home-moms

Now, if some of you disagree with me and this article and think that this is all easy and stay at homes mom have it easy, I say try and do it without one. See how hard it can get. Better yet, hire out to other people. Get yourself people that do all the things a stay at home mom does and see how much it costs you. The average stay at home mom puts in 96.5 hours of work a week according to Salary.com and Forbes. Imagine paying a housekeeper, a cook, a launderer, a driver for errands, (etc.) for all of this and then having them on call for nights too. Yup, it would run you a huge bill.

In the end though, as I already said, it is all priceless. You can’t put a value on what a mom and a wife does, it will never come out right. Just love them and help them when they need it.

Categories: Family, Life, money, Work | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The only one….

Some days I seem to be the only person at work and in my family.

There is a saying in Government that goes something along the lines “Those that work get the work, those that don’t still get raises.” Basically in Government jobs, if you work your butt off and do a great job, you still get the same pay raise as the man or woman that can’t do their job. If you demonstrate you can work and work well, your boss will probably give you all the work, all the projects, etc. While the coworkers that don’t work, can’t work, or just screw up the work, they get very little to do. Again, everyone gets the same pay raise. At least in the GS pay system. Their are other Government pay systems out their, but I am unfamiliar with them.

At work, I get the majority of the work. My customers for Safety are two of the three largest and most technical departments on the base, encompassing chemistry labs, physics labs, optics labs, energetics labs, large machine shops, etc. Not to mention a handful of other departments. I also run the confined space program for the base, the traffic safety program, blood borne pathogen program, assist with the fall protection program, energy control (lock out/tag out) program and respirator program. Though I do more to run the respirator program than assist with it.

With all of this I am also the Non Ionizing Radiation point of contact for our command, backup for my supervisor in the Emergency Operations Center, on the Chemical Hygiene Plan board, and more.

My supervisor is a great manager. I think she took all this in to account when she selected me for a promotion a few months ago and made me her Deputy. Still, when you are the only person that people can go to for all of these things, it can get overwhelming. I am the only person in the office that can do a lot of the things above and I can’t be in two places at once. If I make the wrong call or manage my time improperly, I can end up holding up a multi million dollar test. That has only happened once so far. Worse, if I make a bad decision in regards to certain deficiencies or programs (i.e. confined space or respirator), I can kill someone.

Family wise, I am the only person that my mom has. My mom is emotionally a wreck at most times, has a stress disorder, bad coping skills, very low self esteem, a stressful job that barely lets her make ends meet, can’t make friends very well and a love life that is a couple deaths short of a Greek tragedy. I am the only person she has to talk to, help her out with things, etc.

Right now she is being evicted from her apartment and has been looking for a place to live. A veteran used a VA loan to buy the duplex that she has lived in for 10 years. As VA loans make you live in the place you buy (I think for a year), and the other apartment is on a new lease, my mom is being evicted out of hers.

She has only been working for about 11 years and that came at the end of a divorce to a bad man. She doesn’t make much money, doesn’t have much of a savings and is now forced to either rent a crappy apartment (there are not many nice rentals in this town) or buy a small house. She has chosen the latter and is buying a small house in a bad neighborhood. Most of the house was renovated, but it still needs work. Of course, I am the only person she has that can help her do this work, help her move, etc.

I am basically the only person my grandparents have too. They live an hour away and I go down their often to help them, probably not as often as I should though.

My fiancée is a different story. She is really the only person I have that I can ask for help as everyone else either lives too far away, is not in a position to help me with anything, or is the one always asking me for help. Though I am reluctant to ask her for help; instead just drawing strength from being with her and having her and the kids in my life. She gets mad at me for this and chews me out for not asking her to help lighten my load. I guess I just became used to doing everything on my own, helping and supporting everyone else. I don’t really know how to ask for myself. Besides, she works swing shifts and graveyards, has two kids, and is going to school full time. She is Superwoman for pulling all of that off! Her strength is one of the many things I love about her and I know she would be strong enough to handle anything I ask of her too. However, when she is already facing so much on a daily basis, how can I ask her for help?

By the way, Jen, if you are reading this. I love you and thank you for everything you do for me. I’ll see you tonight 🙂

Last week an old friend and his wife came in from out of town. As his wife and my fiancée were inside Dennys, getting to know one another, we were outside so he could smoke. He looked at me and said “You used to be the laid back one out of the group. Now you are wound really tight and kind of angry and cold. What happened? I’m worried about you.”

My fiancée agreed with him when I told her about his concern.

A few weeks ago, at the end of the work day, my supervisor came in my office, sat down, looked at me and said “I’m worried about you. You are always doing everything for everyone else, taking care of everyone else. I can see it in your eyes. You need to take some time for yourself and start focusing on yourself more.”

At that point my office phone rang, I was needed for an emergency mishap. I ended up working an hour and a half over that night, almost missing a dinner date with my fiancée and the girls.

Categories: Family, Friends, General, Life, Work | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Direct TV

Getting ready to move sucks, transferring bills to a new place, turning on utilities, etc., all a hassle that no one ever wants to go through. I started the process today by calling Direct TV Movers Department to schedule a date for someone to come to the new place after I move in and hook up my receivers.

The first person I get is a woman named Shaniqua, and she sounds like she is talking through a mouth full of marbles and bubble gum, and every other word is “awesome.” Three words in, and I am already less than impressed with her CSR skills, and her obvious lack of mastery of the English language. Shaniqua proceeds to tell me that I qualify for a movers discount, and I will only have to pay Direct TV 184.00 to have my receivers hooked up at the new place. I was floored…184 dollars for maybe 30 minutes worth of work? And that is a discount?! I asked Shaniqua what it would cost me to cancel my Direct TV service, and she informed me that it would be 240.00. I told her I would have to think about it, because the 240 isn’t that much more than the 184, and it would save me a lot of cash in the long run. 

A while later I called the Movers Department back, just to see if they could do anything for me, this time I get April. April sounds like her girlfriend used too big of a strap on the night before, and she won’t be shitting right for a week. April bitchely tells me that 184.00 is a valid fee, and I can pay it or cancel; she can not give me any kind of deal or incentive. April can kiss my ass. I hung up in a very angry fashion. 

A bit later I call customer service/sales after that and tell Janet that I have no incentive to not pay the cancellation fee because it will save me money in the long run. Janet is just as frustrated as me because she had to pay her own damn company over 200.00 when she moved. Janet calls me honey and dear, and transfers me over to Tasheka in the Retention Department.

Tasheka asks me to explain my problem with Direct TV and why I may want to cancel. I tell Tasheka that I am about to receive a 20% pay cut, I have to move because my current landlord is a dumb ass and I don’t want to live in mold, and my new place is more expensive. I’m seeing a lot of money go out the window, and at this point paying the 240.00 will save me a lot of money in the long run. I describe every conversation I have had with the Direct TV movers people up to this point also. Tasheka throws in a lot of “Mmmmhmmm” while I am telling her all this, with that last few sounding irritated as I tell her about the Movers Dept. She askes me a few questions, spends a lot of time typing, and then asks me if 20.00 sounds better than 184.00. I of course exclaim “YES!” and then ask her how she can give me a 160.00 discount. She says “Honey, I work in retention, we have powers.” I could almost hear her head bob around as she said it. 

Direct TV sucks. The option to cancel is still sitting in my head, and I may do so after my 2 year contract (only 1 more year to go) is up. I rather not give my money to such a shitty company.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Yesterdays rant was deleted by wordpress, so here it is again: A Rant

I posted a rant here and on Facebook yesterday that ended up getting deleted by WordPress, so I am posting it again. The funny thing is, the rant on Facebook ended up with a bet between two of my friends who have never met. One is in England and one is in Tahoe, and the bet is a £5.00 note on whether or not the furlough will go through as a part of Sequestration.

A rant:

Dear House, Senate, President, Republicons and Demorats,

You have increased my payroll taxes, health care deductions and premiums, cut my health care coverage, and now you are going to take 16 hours away per check. This affects my retirement, leave, and cuts 20% of my pay. I will of course look at ways to save money, trimming the fat out of my budget (something you won’t do). 

Downgrading cell phone/plan, turning the thermostat down, no eating out, (etc.) are all of course fairly common sense things (again, something you don’t have). However, if it comes down to losing my car or not paying my Federal Student Loans back, my student loans arn’t getting paid. Not that I’ll be driving much at that point, but at least I’ll have something to show for fucking my credit up. Also, why should I pay you when you decide to rape me? 

Furthermore, if the 20% is harder hitting than I thought, or lasts longer than it is supposed to, you may see a very naughty Travis. 

Finally, as the Russians used to say during the days of the USSR: “They pretend to pay us, and we pretend to work.”

Have a nice day.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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